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Lessons I Learned from Online Dating

Remember the Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan romantic-comedy You’ve Got Mail? Perhaps you were still a toddler when it was released back in 1998. But that iconic movie represented the dawn of the new dating era: online dating. So here are some of the lessons I learned from online dating. Before I go into details, what’s the fuss about online dating?



Dating Online

As a modern woman, you know how online dating works—you sign up on a dating app—be it Tinder, Match.com, Bumble, POF, Facebook Dating, or all of the above—in the hopes of finding your soulmate.


Or, you don’t even have to sign up for anything; instead, you chat up someone you accidentally found interesting on Instagram or Twitter, and the next thing you know, you’re in a virtual romance.


Hesitant Beginnings

When I started looking for love online, I was feeling a bit hesitant… to put it lightly. As a hopeless romantic, I preferred meeting guys the old-fashioned way.


However, maybe you have tried this and felt that it proved futile or maybe you’ve gotten tired of failed blind dates and unsuccessful matchmaking by well-meaning friends. So, you may have asked yourself, why not?


Tools for Introduction

I have come to embrace the fact that there’s no shame in looking for the guy of my dreams through online dating. Dating apps are safe and effective tools in meeting someone through virtual communication, and then gauging whether or not you wish to go to the next level: meeting in person.


This saves a lot of time! In fact, Psychology Today says the same thing, and noted communication as one of the pros of virtual dating.


“Such computer-mediated communication allows for safe and convenient interaction, without much risk or time commitment,” the site mentions in its article titled “Pros and Cons of Online Dating.”


If it works, then you hit the jackpot. If not, then continue the search! That’s one of the golden lessons I learned from online dating.



High Success Rate

According to a study conducted by Pew Research Center, 3 in 10 Americans have used a dating site or app—23% of them actually went out on a date and 12% ended up in a committed relationship, or even marriage.


Twelve percent is not bad! After learning about this study, I was all the more convinced that I needed to share the infinite possibilities within the world of virtual courtship.


Let me tell you that I did it. And I have experienced a lot. So, let me share with you three crucial golden lessons I learned from online dating.


Some Lessons Learned


1. Same Passion, No Spark

Dating apps and sites allow you access to a wider pool (or shall we say ocean?) of potential partners based on your preference. Filtering is fun!


But one of the lessons I learned from online dating is that you can match with a thousand guys with the same love for reading, movies, and pizza, but you still won’t have a connection. This is normal.


2. Opposites Do Attract

At one point in time, I experimented and adjusted my preferences to the complete opposite of my interest. For example, I hate sports, but I searched for guys who are into football and basketball.

The result? In many cases, I have gained, if not a romantic date, a new friendship. Opposites do attract!


3. Be Yourself

Another one of those important lessons I learned from online dating is never to try too hard. When we meet someone incredibly hot online, we tend to peacock—trying our best to be liked to the point of pretending to be someone we’re not! And this spells trouble.



The key is to simply be yourself! Chat or talk naturally. And if he likes you just the way you are, then you’ll most likely end up in that 12% of a happy ever after just from online dating.


Life Lessons


I wanted share just a few of these golden rules for you to ponder, in advance, of the release of What Cootchie Wash Do You Use? 13 Life Lessons and Real-Life Dating Advice Learned from Online Dating. In the book, I use my life experiences, as someone who has navigated the online dating world and succeed, to provide you with advice and life lessons to aid in your own self-reflection, in hopes, that it will help shorten your own online dating journey!


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